its really fast

my mum drove pass nus the other day when i was in the car and this thought striked me real hard. i am already 18plus. like how fast can life get. i remembered meself telling my mother when i went to primary 1 that i will study in nus when i am older when she drove pass the exact same road. then, when i was in sec2, when my studies was in a mess and my life was screwed up by those passer-by. and the thought that i have when i went to the track there was, will i ever make it there? the thing about nus went away for the next 4 years. but when i received my results this year, it went through my mind at exactly the stretch of road when my mum drove again, that i think i am going in there. and the other day, i turned to my mommy and said ' am i really 18? am i really in there? am i really going somewhere? i am really going in there.' the thought that came to my mind was, people are actually growing up real fast. it seems like just yesterday that i told my mom for the first time that i will go there and now i am really going towards that direction.

just like it was yesterday that i went into jj and met all the wonderful people that i love and the weirdos that i hate. those people that laugh with me at stupid things or funny people are those i treasure.

i miss school due to the slacking around part, the mass bitching session with A5, the ever-so-tiring training but fun with teamies, the laughing at weirdos with all those around me at the usual table, the ever-so-long walk to LT5 toilet but i will not mind walking, the regular running to the lockers to search in our ever-so-messy lockers to find things that we can never find, opening up su's locker to take 7pairs of stinking boots out and MUCH MUCH MORE.

its all in my head. i will never want to forget all this happy moments we have gone through.

SIGH.

they crashed. they are out. good bye to treble. so much for me ignoring my work the next day and woke up at 2.30 to watch my dearest and the team i like play. they were totally outwitted and outplayed by kaka. who truly deserves to be the best player in the world for that nice. seriously, that is like that last game man utd should actually screw up!! whatever it is, they are out already and they can only get double.

work has been bitch. it has been really draining and tiring. like been marking my hands off every night and all my public holidays are gone. my week ends are burned too. i cant wait for the exam week to pass and i will be so much better. less work to do and everything. i can go shopping really really soon. hooray!

i need a dose of A5
i need a dose of MIAO
i need a dose of NINA
i need a dose of EMILY
i need a dose of MY TEAMMIES.
i need a HUGE DOSE OF SLEEP

lazy, i am

i realize how lazy can a person get. i been so busy this weekend. i dont know doing what. i have to type remarks for my class and i found out how hypocritcal i am as a teacher.

enough about that.

i think my brain is not well recently because i can no longer think as fast or as much things. i am getting confuse and everything. i think what shak told me when i started working is really true. i am really not thinking much there. people please, talk more to me to make me think. ask me questions to make me think. i think i need jesse for a massive bitching and arguing with him session.

recently, i been thinking of the days that i used to play in school and skipping all the lectures. walking with my dearest nina to favorite toilet. walking around school with dearest nina randomly. i miss all my classmates!

whatever!

i am so blamed for not going for an outing with you people just because its so last minute and i am SUPPOSE to throw aside all my things that i have already planned and upset those that i am with? i am not type of person if you dont know. and please, think about how many times you people planned something and i blocked my time out for our gathering and guess what, who are those who dont bother and call me at 6.45pm to tell me that everything is cancelled when the gathering is at 7pm. so give me a reason why should i continue to make time for your gatherings when i know that it will just be cancelled and i will spend my day stoning instead? and give me a reason for trying to make time for the so called gathering when you call me at 4pm and tell me to meet at 7pm in town. and please, when you cant make it, you will have a good reason for not going. as for others, you will just say that they dont bother about the clique anymore. why dont you think about the times when i had to study for my exams and the times that i actually have to work. you people can call yourself the usual five for all i care. because, yes, sometimes i really feel so away from some of you because of your seriously self centered behaviour and thinking. however, if you are going to accuse me for not caring about how u feel, i am really not going to care because i dont see anyone of you caring at all. and please, yes, i want to move on the a better area and i want you people to move on with me. because we are no longer there anymore. i cant stop my advance so that i can still 'click' with you people.

i sincerely hope that ONE of you will actually read this because i dont think i can hide this animosity any longer.

i feel so much better now.
i love my classmates(A5 only) and touch team.