tongue tied.

i think i am doing if just for the sake of doing it. not because i really miss you or what. i think i just needed to do something badly. and seriously, u are just there. i have enough of the cheating thing. but i am still part of it. i think i have to change my life. i think you are still the same. always here when i needed someone. but i think i am not doing myself a good deed. you are already out of my life. seriously. but i am still bring you and letting you back in. i took so long to get you of my head. but now, i am bring you in, but this time, i am so not falling in again. i think i know what i want. but i cant get it. and i am so destroying it even more by doing what i am doing. i know its wrong but i cant help it. and you are always present me with such a chance. i think she loves you so much. and i am feeling really bad now. she is my friend. even though i was totally upset when you got together with her. but now, you are so whatever and away from me. i am bringing myself back in it again. somehow, i think you are not happy with her, but you are still holding on because of how much she loves you. i hope i am right and you will continue holding on. i think i should so not do anything like that again. i know you are so not into such things. but looking at the things that she has done for you, i think you should like be super nice to her. 

i am tongue tied. i cant tell you what i really want to say. because i dont even know what you are thinking of. and seriously, i think i know what would you say. i feel like trying but i cant foresee how it will turn out to be. for once, i am scare. i dont want to try. due to all the fears that i have in me. i know its weird. its really weird. its more than weird. i dont know what it is at all. i am confused too. i told myself that i have to say so that i wouldn't regret. but somehow, i dont really want to do that. i am more than confused. i am over confused. i am deeply confused. 

i am tongue tied, in every way.