love ones

dear love managed to convince me for a night that the decision i made was wrong and that perhaps, he doesnt know what the hell i am thinking. but too bad love, i think i will just stuck to my decision once again. thanks to love, i though about the whole issue one again. and decide that perhaps it is not worth it at all. and that since love said that she loves me. i think that is enough to last me for a month! he is not everything in life anyway right. no one knows what is happening except love and js. js is like one of the better thing that happened in my life since school started. i am quite glad that i met a person like this. even tho i am so unhappy about not having love with me anymore, but at least her school is somehow on the same road.

i told love what happened and she thought of the whole issue out with me and thought that i should really talk. but seriously, i dont know if it will work and what are the chances. i dont really want to risk anything at this moment. i need to clear my head for the next two weeks for sure. and i need to do whatever i can to get my life work out. shall let destiny play her role. if things are going to work out, they will work out eventually. there is no point being too rash on anything. love thinks that i am wrong. but i am too reluctant to talk anyway. so there is no way i can change anything. i know love meant well. but still! being really stubborn and lost, i will not let myself surrender to such an issue. it makes me feel weak if i am going to surrender. so i might as well just leave. sorry love.

anyhow, ivp is starting. which means i am going to play hard and win. this is something that i will compromise anything for. i know what is it like. and i know that i need to do extraordinary.

school is starting.

much love,
shan