being dumb and karma

was telling kenton that one day i will get karma, and i think it is here. its dumb. i totally hated everything. i guess i didnt want it to unfold this way but apparently, its outside my head and hands. perhaps its my fault from the start and i should not blame anyone. its just karma. i am getting it too. for once, i thought i found something that i can hold on to. but it has slipped away. please do not turn back and look because i dont think it will be worth the trouble. i should just walk away and not think about it anymore. stay away from there for as long as possible. this is karma. i believe in it. even tho kenton doesnt think it is. i am not going to do anything else. i will just see how things go from now on. not going to chase after anything that its pointless. its over dear girl. its just a dream girl. its not worth it girl. look away and move on. whatever, this is like the first time that i am so affected. and i cannot believe it. i know i am much stronger than this. i am withstand more pain. and shouldnt this ending be the one that u have been expecting. because its impossible for anything to happen. so, move away please. love yourself, and not get hurt. i know i am tempted to ask but i am not going to. smile and the world smile with you. there is nothing that you cant conquer in life. its a matter of whether you want to or not. please do not give in dear. its pointless. remain where you are and decide to do it as firmly as you can. there is no point in turning back unless someone else does the same thing.

i think you know but u are just running away from it. should be glad that everything is clear now and you can concentrate on what is really important in your life. touch and studies are the most important things now. touch is life.