getting over it

i think i am getting over the whole issue. even though at parts of the day, i will start thinking about it but i will snap out of it real soon. bet i will be done with it real soon. its not good to keep thinking about it anyway. maybe one day i will regret what i am doing now but i will not look back and choose an alternative. this should be the best way for everything. i need to get it off. lingering on is bad. 

finally, i went to visit the doctor. no sports for 4 weeks. but seriously, i am not going to care. like how many times can you live. and how hard it is to find something that you love so much and want to commit into it. i really love playing. i think it is one of the best thing that has happened to me in life. and its the happiest moments in my life. i met people who i love in it and i think i will love them for life. i made friends, laughed at stupid things and stone at nonsense. thanks sweeties, i will always love you people. even if it will get worse, i think i dont really care anymore. for the one time in my life, i am committed. it is not only part of my life, it is life.

met up with butterflies today =)) food at newton, slack at indochine,  slack at starbucks. like after 7 yrs, its still strong. love love. i am glad that i didnt move away. lovelies

i want selective memory lost. i will leave you out of me, completely. 

is it a good or bad thing that i am staying here now? i have my own life and i met my person, they are there, always. its more than anything. i am glad that i made this decision and i will not look back and regret. its the life i choose and i should be happy about it. there is no point regretting any of my action even though i hated some of them. but i believe my happy times cover and make me forget everything else. 

i miss wearing school uniform and walking to lt5 toilet. i miss screaming and laughing in the canteen. i miss running on the field with them. i miss a5ers. love love. 

i miss shopping more than anything else. 

 

being dumb and karma

was telling kenton that one day i will get karma, and i think it is here. its dumb. i totally hated everything. i guess i didnt want it to unfold this way but apparently, its outside my head and hands. perhaps its my fault from the start and i should not blame anyone. its just karma. i am getting it too. for once, i thought i found something that i can hold on to. but it has slipped away. please do not turn back and look because i dont think it will be worth the trouble. i should just walk away and not think about it anymore. stay away from there for as long as possible. this is karma. i believe in it. even tho kenton doesnt think it is. i am not going to do anything else. i will just see how things go from now on. not going to chase after anything that its pointless. its over dear girl. its just a dream girl. its not worth it girl. look away and move on. whatever, this is like the first time that i am so affected. and i cannot believe it. i know i am much stronger than this. i am withstand more pain. and shouldnt this ending be the one that u have been expecting. because its impossible for anything to happen. so, move away please. love yourself, and not get hurt. i know i am tempted to ask but i am not going to. smile and the world smile with you. there is nothing that you cant conquer in life. its a matter of whether you want to or not. please do not give in dear. its pointless. remain where you are and decide to do it as firmly as you can. there is no point in turning back unless someone else does the same thing.

i think you know but u are just running away from it. should be glad that everything is clear now and you can concentrate on what is really important in your life. touch and studies are the most important things now. touch is life.